A women in touch with her sexuality feels confident, attractive, strong and self-sufficient. We are designed to be sexual creatures – divine divas who adore sexual pleasure, question sexual discontent and strive for balance, harmony and enjoyment. – Real Sex For Real Women, Laura Berman, PhD
As a single woman, I’m constantly drawn to all sorts of books and articles on empowerment, from self-love to self… well… satisfaction.
Society has placed a negative stigma on sex, one which I disagree with wholeheartedly. We are sexual beings and sex, with two consenting adults, should be celebrated, not frowned upon – committed relationship or otherwise!
Our televisions are flooded with unrealistic versions of what sex should look like. Perfect bodies, perfect hair and makeup post-coital. What if instead, our view of sex was geared towards what really matters – what sex feels like? And let’s not forget the amazing benefits a little bow-chicka-bow-wow has on our entire well-being!
There is something so beautiful about the way two bodies connect and become one. The heavy breathing, lingering touch, how your lips seem to fit perfectly together. And then it happens – along with your indulgent body parts moving in synchronicity, your souls intertwine in magical harmony, sending you into complete and utter bliss.
Sex is hot. The eroticism associated with your sweat and bodily fluids, as you explore one another and discover what drives the other crazy in the best way possible… it’s a driving force that creates energy, confidence… life!
And listen up women: There is nothing wrong with asserting your personal power and voicing your needs… and that includes in the bedroom!
I want to be clear here… having BOTH partners needs met is important. But the truth is, I find that so many women I talk to have a hard time speaking their truth and letting their partner know what they need or want and it leaves them feeling unfulfilled. I am all for pleasing your man, please do! But your needs matter too, babe! If you don’t know what you want or need, it’s time to get to know your body a bit. Explore. There is nothing wrong or bad about touching your beautiful body and discovering what makes you feel sexy, empowered and fulfilled.
Get in touch with your sexual desires and share them with your partner – or better yet, show him/her! Try new things. Embrace foreplay and oral sex. Let your sexual needs evolve and be open to your partners fantasies too.
Sex is a primal desire – a need to be met without guilt or shame. Sometimes it comes in the form of soft, slow, love-making and other times it can be downright dirty (helllloooo, 50 Shades of Grey!). Play around and find what works for you both. And don’t be afraid to change things up! Variety is the spice of life after all.
It’s Important To Give AND Receive
As women, we are nurturers. Taking care of others comes naturally for us. But here’s the deal… If your man is take, take, taking and you’re give, give, giving… the end result is a lack-luster partnership. Why have a mediocre sexual experience when you could have something fantastic – out of this world, hair on fire, heart-racing, inner thighs pulsing, energy flowing, passionate, crazy, amazing SEX?
Don’t settle (in the bedroom or otherwise). Learn to ask for what you want and what you need and get comfortable receiving! And don’t feel bad for gently expressing what you don’t like – what’s not serving your sexual prowess. While this may seem like a blow to your mans ego, approach it from a “you know what I really like…” standpoint, encouraging him as he learns to navigate your body in a way that sends you to the moon!
WE DESERVE MIND-BLOWING ORGASMS TOO!
By first learning about your own body and what turns you on, you can then communicate this to your partner, leaving you both feeling satisfied, dripping, with a post-sexy-time glow.
Aside from the fact that sex can be incredibly powerful – on all levels, there are some seriously legit reasons you should be having a lot more of it too!
1. Increases Youthful Appearance
With increased blood circulation and oxygenation of the blood, a post-coital glow means a temporary brighter complexion. But there are longer-lasting beauty benefits of sex, too. An orgasm triggers a rush of endorphins and growth hormones, like DHEA, that help heal damage caused by the sun, smoking and cortisol buildup, which is associated with the thinning of the skin. In fact, a Scottish study showed that people who have sex every other day look dramatically younger (up to seven to 12 years!) than then those lacking in the nooky department.
2. Brain Health
In addition to increased blood flow throughout the body, sex also provides blood flow to the brain, which provides an extra boost of glucose for energy!
3. Better Sleep
The intense relaxation you feel after climax from the oxytocin rush can induce a deeper sleep, so don’t be offended if your little romp leaves your partner snoozing within minutes.
4. Strengthens the Pelvic Floor
Keeping your “love muscle” strong is important! Maybe you’ve heard of kegels, which are exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor. Think of when you hold your urine then let it flow… imagine if your pelvic floor was weak! You’d have a hard time controlling your bladder, which can be cause for all sorts of problems. Plus, a strong pelvic floor leads to better orgasms!
5. Relieves Stress
Researchers from Scotland have found that people who were sexually active had lower blood pressure when engaged in stress-inducing tasks, such as public speaking, with those only having sex in the last two weeks charting the lowest number.
6. Burns Calories
The human body has over 600 muscles and during sex, we’re contracting all of these muscles. As long as you’re putting some effort into it, you’re sure to burn some calories in the act – way more fun than running on a treadmill if you ask me!
7. Stabilizes Menstrual Cycles
And helps relieve cramps and menstrual headaches too! Plus, orgasms are more powerful during menses.
8. Gives Natural Pain Relief Through Orgasms
Orgasms release a bunch of different brain chemicals, including oxytocin – our bodies natural pain reliever so get your freak on, giiiirrrrrrrlll!
9. A Stronger Immune System
A study from Wilkes University in Pennsylvania indicated that people having sex one to two times a week had three times as much Immunoglobulin A (a major antibody) in their systems as those having no sex, infrequent sex (less than once a week), or — a note to your nosy neighbors — very frequent sex (3 times or more a week).
10. Improves Mood and Reduces Depression
A study done by the State University of New York controlled the length of a relationship, amount of sex, time elapsed since last sexual encounter, and use of oral contraceptives to show that women who never used condoms reported better moods and fewer depressive symptoms or suicidal thoughts than those who used condoms. Why? One theory is that vaginal tissue is very absorptive and semen contains a host of mood-elevating chemicals, like endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin and prolactin. For women, sex is literally a jolt to your system and if you’re getting it on regularly, you might be on cloud nine for quite a while.
*Please note: I am by no means advocating unprotected sex with the tidbit mentioned in #10! Be smart about it and of course, please be safe while enjoying your little dose of pleasure, each and every time.
Adapted; originally posted here.