Ummmm… not even kidding.
You literally cannot make this shit up.
I am saving some real gems for my someday-it-will-be-finished-book (who knows when it will be out, it will be out at some point, mark my words)… but in the meantime…
Holy mother ‘effer!
I can’t even wrap my mind around the randomness that is my dating life. I’ve got…
The Face-Eating Kisser Guy.
The Ex-Suitors Ex (maybe) aka My New Stalker (Girl). – see below
The Non-Disclosure Test-Your-Compassion-Scale Guy.
The Netflix-and-Chill Guy.
The I-Just-Want-The (meow) Guy.
The We-Should-Make-Out-First (before ever speaking in person) Guy.
The Brushing-My-Teeth-Is-Overrated Guy.
I could go on…
Today though, we’re going to focus on the above in BOLD. Because I had no idea bitches be so cray!
Newsflash – they DO exist. And it’s really freakin’ weird.
So here’s the story…
I took a quick break to get my eyebrows waxed this afternoon, just down the street from my house.
As soon as I walked in, I noticed a chick sitting in one of the pedicure chairs that kept staring at me. When I would catch her eye, she’d look away. Honestly, for whatever reason, this happens a lot so I didn’t think twice.
As I’m checking emails on my phone, waiting for my turn, I hear:
“Are you Sheree?”
I look around, not knowing where this question came from. As I glance in front of me, I see a blonde-tatted up chick awkwardly staring at me, expressionless, not saying a word – the same one from the chair, only this time, she’s standing in front of me (not up in my face, totally non-confrontational).
“Are you messing around with ‘anonymous guy’?”
“We’re friends… You arrrre?”
“The Ex-Suitors Ex (maybe) aka My New Stalker (Girl). I’m seeing him.”
“Yea, you left a package on his doorstep.”
“That was a while ago… like 6 weeks ago…”
“Yea, I was just wondering. There’s nothing else going on?”
Silence. More staring. I smile.
“Nice to meet you!”
First of all, what the F do you do with that?
Because truthfully, we (‘anonymous guy’ and I) have been dating (albeit very casually) since January and both of us have been open that we are dating other people too (to what degree, apparently that has not been fully disclosed). Who is this chick and how the crap does she know what I look like? We’ve never met. And I guarantee ‘anonymous guy’ hasn’t shown her my picture…
And then it dawned on me.
Mother ‘effin social media!
She’s probably seen me comment on his posts on FB or IG… and she’s probably like, “who the (bleep) is this Sheree chick?!”
There is no such thing as privacy. Not that I care much about that anyway (you know this if you follow me on any social sites), but I like it on my terms. I’m a Scorpio, deal with it. #noshame
Because I am not willing to allot for the time or space in my life to allow such wacko energy into my experience, I didn’t call ‘anonymous guy’ out… and I didn’t shrug her off either. I treated her like any other person. With respect. Compassion. Kindness.
And small talk. Although this interaction was… awkward, to say the least.
Turns out, we live next to eachother (yayyyyy, us!). And turns out, “I look like a friend of a friend” of hers.
No, I don’t know TT. Sorry.
I’m sure she’s very nice. And I am sure her abrupt questioning came from insecurity either made possible by ‘anonymous guy’ or another past experience. I don’t at all fault her and frankly, find it admirable she had the courage to speak up! Either way, having a convo was not what I was looking for but for whatever reason, the Universe was like, “hey babe, check out this line I’m about to throw you… watcha gonna do?”
Moral of the story: It was an eye-opening – and hilarious – happening and definitely an unusual way to break up my day. The truth? I don’t think ‘anonymous guy’ is who he says he is – honest, loyal, prides himself on integrity. Yadda yadda yadda. It’s cool. Now I know. Disappointed for sure. But I can live with it.
And THAT, my friends, is what happens when you are OPEN and WILLING to accept notes from the Universe. They aren’t always what you want to hear or see… but that’s life!
Did I want to experience any of this? Not really. Actually, F no. But that wasn’t an option because I am open. And I am willing. And now I have clarity and can finally see what I clearly didn’t want to see, which is that this guy is not for me. Doesn’t matter that I totally dig a lot about him. Or the fact that we have insane chemistry… I have no interest in games or bullshit. Ain’t nobody got timmmme for that!
Yea, I politely confronted him. He apologized for the awkwardness and said they weren’t dating anymore. Not sure she got that memo, but not really my business at this point.
TRUTH BOMB: THERE WILL BE EXPERIENCES THAT SHOW UP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM. EMBRACE THEM. ALL OF THEM.
You are MEANT to see, hear and feel these things because GROWTH is part of the journey. Everything you go through, grows you. And the people you meet – they, too, are for a reason.
Don’t you dare for a second think that life is kicking you in the ass to cause you pain. Sometimes you NEED that kick in the ass to get you back on track. So for this I say…